A Close Defeat & International Friendship

Last Round of Qualifying:

Excitement, nervousness, and, at times, an odd sense of tranquility ran through me before my final round of Qualifying. After beating my first professionally ranked player in the second round of qualifying, I went up against the #6 seed from Germany who was ranked around 1400 in the world.

As we step on the court, the referee starts with the coin toss and then asks us both how we like our names pronounced for when he says the score. I go through the 5 minute warm up feeling quite tight and a little spaced out, but I win the toss and elect to serve first. Usually, I capitalize on my service games and get a big percentage of holds, but I could not seem to put a ball in the court for the first couple games. I quickly go down 5-2 and just remember thinking to myself “what is going on right now… just try and put more balls in the court and be smart”. As I proceeded to serve, down 2-5 in the first set, I told myself “to fight” and “make him earn every point”. That mindset really worked and I dug back in and got the first set back to 5-5 after getting a decisive break when he was serving.

The score is now 5-5. I have the set back right where I want it as I am serving to go up 6-5. Here is where things get interesting: my nerves and excitement creep back in and cloud my judgment in terms of strategy and shot selection. Instead of just simply continuing to execute what I did to get me back to 5-5, which was make a lot of balls and play cross-court waiting for my opportunity to strike. I decided to start trying to go for bigger shots thinking I needed “to do more and hit winners”. Reflecting back, I recognize that this tactical shift at 5-5 was more out of nervousness and feeling I needed to do more in order to win that set. I proceeded to lose that 5-5 game and then he served out the first set to win 7-5.

At the set changeover, as I drank my apple juice, electrolyte water, and ate a banana I felt a clear purpose in terms of what I needed to do in the second set. I knew I needed to go back to that high-percentage strategy and just wait for him to get impatient. That strategy worked wonders as I got up 5-4 and had a chance to break him to win that set. What is mind boggling to me is that I was up 30-0 in his service game and could feel the second set right on the strings of my racket. Instead of just continuing to stay present and focus on one point at a time, I let my mind wander and start worrying about outcome and results. You can guess what happened next… I fell back into the same trap that happened at 5-5 in the first set and found myself yet again serving at 5-5 in the second set. I quickly could feel the momentum shifting and did not seem to recognize in the moment the necessary adjustments I needed to make.

I lost that match 7-5 7-5. Considering I converted on only 3/12 break points, many of which I did not even make the return in play, I knew that nerves and outcome played too big of a role in this match. Nonetheless, I am very happy with the progress I made in my first international tournament.

Mental Fatigue:

After having a strong showing in my first tournament during the second week, I could feel my mind and body starting to feel drained. Considering I had been training for over 6 weeks in Florida plus playing 3 weeks in South Africa it was really hard to bring the same mindset and preparation to that final week.

Looking back at my week of practice before my final tournament, it was mediocre at best and I did not have the same discipline with my footwork, gym routine, and off-court work. Maybe some people can get away with natural talent and or not preparing countless hours off the court, but I have quickly come to realize that I am just not that person. I need to go through all of my mobility / agility exercises, strength work, meditation, and stretching daily in order to achieve “peak performance”.

This final week served as a wake-up call to me because I cannot just show up and play well for one or two weeks, but need to be “dialed in” during my entire international tournament swing. Ultimately, I lost a close 3 setter in the first round of Qualifying to a South African player. I just could not feel the ball and did not have the same hunger and intense presence I had the week before. This was a tough loss to swallow because it was completely in my control to prepare better and fight harder. This was a very winnable match yet I just did play smart and made way too many careless mistakes. I am going to be sure not to allow myself to make this same mistake with my preparation during my next international tournament swing!

The Importance of Stepping Outside my Comfort Zone:

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I was quite lonely and lost my first several days in South Africa. I felt totally out of my element and could not even seem to bring myself to go meet other players and ask them to practice or hangout. For those of you who know me, that is very unlike who I am.

I had to shake that feeling and knew I needed to push myself to go up to people at the tournament hotel and site. Over the course of many days, I began to meet a lot of people and was no longer embarrassed or scared to talk with fellow players. I was lucky to cross paths with loads of players from all over the world, but my three closest friends were from Australia, South Africa, and Zimbabwe. We not only had meals together almost every day, but also we spent a lot of time practicing with each other and watching each other play in the tournaments. What I found that surprised me most was the level of camaraderie that we developed in just a few weeks. Even though we inherently were all competing in the same tournaments as individuals, it felt as if we were a mini team that all had a common goal of supporting one another and making each other better day in and day out.

Those three players and I are hoping to travel together this spring to play more tournaments together and I know those guys will be friends for life!

My first international professional tournaments have clearly had numerous ups and downs, but all in all, the experience was more than I could have asked for. I learned a great deal about myself. Moreover, I really got a chance to learn what it takes both on and off the court to be successful competing against professional players.

As I head back to the states to get ready for my next couple tournaments in Southern California, I am extremely hungry and excited to see where this journey will take me. I have a lot more confidence in my competitive ability after these international tournaments, but I also know that I have a lot more work both on and off the court to compete week in and week out at that level!

Stayed tuned to hear about my successful birthday weekend!